woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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