yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
