You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
