I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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