Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
