im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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