Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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