Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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