3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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