just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
