Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
