She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
