i would punch a child for taco bell
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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