we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
