The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
