I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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