Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We're like a lot better than the average bears
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
