if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
this will be a night to untag.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
