If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
