i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
