she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
