I seem to have left my pride at pride
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
