im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
