He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
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Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
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My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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