I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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