He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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