She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize