Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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