I got chris browned last night
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
