she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she peed on how many people?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
