You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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