don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize