Cold hands, warm shart.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
