Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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