I hate all girls vehemently.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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