if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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