Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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