he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
