i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
