she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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