just survived the first fart of the relationship.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
