Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
