Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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