Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
