i already hear my dad disowning me
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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