I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
