Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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