turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
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Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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