i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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