Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize