Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
