Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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