We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
