Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
