They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize