I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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