They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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