ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
