I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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