He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
