on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well I just put wine in my tea
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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