He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
