I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
